90 candles on a cake....

It is only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it were the only one we had.

~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross



May you live all the days of your life.

~ Jonathan Swift





So... I've had a hard time starting this post. I started it on Saturday (when it would have had a lot more significance) but I just knew that I wouldn't get through it without tears.



On Saturday my Neena (grandmother) turned 90 years old!! It's just so unreal to me!



She didn't want a party... so we had an "un" party... and a card shower. To say she received a lot of cards is an understatement. She was flooded with them.



My Neena is a HUGE inspiration to me... to all of us. She is someone that I look up to and in my wildest dreams... could hope to be like.



When we were little... going to Papa and Neena's was such a treat. We were lucky to live close and we could go almost as often as we liked. There weren't many rules there... we swam in the pond, went fishing, ate Saltines with butter (lots of butter), and barely ever went inside.





When I was little, Papa was one of my best friends... and I'd admit that I found him to be more fun and interesting than my Neena. I have vivid memories of Neena when I was little... but not many. Like, I remember her coming into the pond to swim with us... and she'd walk in so gently, not making any waves... and then do the most graceful breast stroke out and back and she'd wrap in the towel and head back to the house. She always had cheese and crackers for snacks. She hated the kittens and cats we'd drag to the house, but let us do it anyway (as long as they didn't come inside!) She always had her hair done perfect. And she ALWAYS had little mini Avon lipstick samples. (I loved sneaking into the bathroom to sample them... maybe that's where my addiction stems from???)



When my Papa died... we lost a huge part of our hearts. I say we... because we all cherished him. He was the pillar of our family. (at least I considered him to be). We went to him for advice, with good news, with bad news... and for hugs.



After Papa died... Neena went on. Her faith is so strong... that it helped her through... she carried on. We all are amazed at how she continued to live alone. I know that personally one of the saddest memories I have from after his death was seeing Neena eat her meals alone. But she didn't mind, she said, Papa would always be with her. She had/has such a peace about her that you can't help but admire her.



So Saturday she turned 90. She continues to live alone. She has a caretaker that comes in the mornings to help fix meals, laundry, etc. I hate calling her a caretaker, as she is more like a part of our family now. My parents check on Neena every night. Most of the time she can be found sitting in her chair watching out the window.



Her health is fading... and that's where my tears come from. Just as I couldn't imagine my life after Papa's death... I can't imagine it without my Neena. In the past few years I have appreciated her more than ever. I'm trying to sneak all the time I can with her now. She always assures me that she'll "Be right here"... I'm so lucky that Madi and Mac are old enough to appreciate what a wonderful woman she is. She calls Mac "shorty" and he always takes his hat off and kisses her before he leaves. I know that his heart loves her like mine does. It's a peaceful love... so hard to describe.



So we honored Neena with an un'party... that she requested a Turkey be made for. (thanks Aunt DeeDee... it was yummy). We had cake. We had laughter. I secretly hope that Papa new we were celebrating...





I have all these things I want to post about... country life, cows in my yard, life, etc... but I needed to "get this all out"... and it felt good. Now, I'm going to go grab some tissues, some coffee, and the keys! Mac's day of preschool is almost done and I'm off to my mom's to make and can "sauce"... something we've never done before!



Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of 'you' to the world.

~Anonymous