A "Butterfly" is born!!!

Our Friend "Lady Butterfly"

I'm in awe... and even though this is something I did as a child... watching it through Mac and Madi's eyes... was amazing.

Lady Butterfly was born today... while we were gone.

At one point I was focusing my camera and wiping tears from my eyes at the same time.

I worried like any "good" mother would do all day today... I just knew she would hatch before we got home. And I wanted to watch it sooo bad (I'm secretly worse than my children).


But... maybe that is the way it was meant to be. Maybe it's supposed to remain part of the great mystery of nature. (though, we will try again next year... and I'm crossing my fingers with the Luna Moth)


I took the kids into the field to release the butterfly... but it seems she had an attachment issue. It just wouldn't let go... of any of us. We all traded her back and forth and finally I resorted to big arm gestures to get her to leave my finger. She flew for a bit... and then landed. I was worried that maybe she couldn't fly, but after a few shakes she flew off into the sunset. No, really... it was like out of a storybook. Right when she took off the sun broke through the clouds and we watched her fly until we couldn't see her anymore. Mac said a pray for her (which ended in his ever popular "O'Man" instead of Amen.)



Some of the pictures are blurry... I'm sure because of crying episode. (I'm such a sap!)


Here are the 'better' of the pictures... with the one Madi took of me NOT included. OMG, I need to *check* myself. I'm not sure if it's work (you know the whole 20 hours...), the country air, or my children... but I'm looking rugged. Scary. Just down right... NAS'TAY!


Okay... pictures! xoxo Thanks for following along with us!

Butterfly Alert!!!

The Monarch Chrysalis changed to a very dark color last night.

This morning it's clear and the butterfly's orange and black wings are visible through the skin of the chrysalis.

Mac has declared that THIS is reason enough NOT to go to school today. *sigh* I agree... but from what I read it could be a full 12 hours of this stage.

I wish I knew for sure... I'd love for Mac to see the chrysalis shake before the butterfly emerges (hatches).

Rain, Rain Go Away...

Ho Hum... I don't have the energy to do much of anything today.

But I wanted to log on and write about the sweetest thing ever....

Some nights Mac will try to argue "Reasons why Mac should not have to go to bed..." Sometimes, they are great reasons... some nights they are funny reasons, and some nights the reasons are just plain crazy.

One of my favorite reasons is "Because when I'm sleeping... I miss you, Mommy"...

I know... MELTS YOUR HEART doesn't it? I get chills thinking how sweet it sounds.

So last night around 3 am (guess that would be this morning and not last night) he woke up and yelled down to my room... that he "needed" me.

I went to see what he needed and he said...

"I love you, Mommy"... and then "See, I do MISS you when I'm sleeping!"

I kissed his whole face and sent him back into dream land.

Some day he'll be 18 and he won't need me. I'll miss the middle of the night wake ups. I need to remember to not be angry when he wakes me up... because he still does need me... and it's true, he MISSES ME WHEN HE IS SLEEPING!!

The J.O.B.

Today... I finally felt comfortable. So thanks for all the well wishes and office advice. I think I'm fitting in. I've learned that saying "Hello, this is Jodi" on the phone is quite powerful. (in fact I might start answering the house phone like that) and that little office girly chit chat is quite fun.

The hard lesson learned: When working in Adobe... if you don't hit save- you lose it all!

Sad Times...

To ease another's heartache is to forget one's own.
~Abraham Lincoln

The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected.
~Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

This hasn't been an easy blog to sit down and write... but I really felt it was necessary to do so, before I blogged about anything else.

This week we said Goodbye to a girl that was much too young to die. She was a daughter to one of my childhood friends. A granddaughter to one of my Mom's best friends. And as it seems by the lines of people at her viewing last night... she was a friend to many.

Growing up... I had not one... but many families. My Mom and Dad had several really close "couple" friends... and their children were some of our best friends (*our* being my sisters and brother). We all grew up together... their parent's treated us like we were their own... and our parents were the same way.

So hearing the news that Stephanie had died... crushed a little bit of my heart. She was young... much too young.

Seeing everyone at the viewing last night broke my heart.

Why do we wait until something like this happens to see each other. To hug each other and to tell everyone how much we love them???

My friend Chrissy (she was Stephanie's Aunt) hugged me and cried into my shoulder and said "I've missed you, Jodi"

I know that as normal people... we grow up. We have families, careers, etc and it makes it hard to see each other. It's hard to stay in touch. But it hurts. It hurts to know that we let friendships slide, or that we let people take backseats in our life until maybe it's too late.

Call an old friend... write them a note... reach out. Don't let it be sadness that reconnects you.

In honor of Stephanie, I will post her memorial.
Stephanie Mullen, 22, from Athens, Pa., was taken to her grandfather’s awaiting arms on Sept. 21, 2008.

She was born Aug. 12, 1986 at the Robert Packer Hospital in Sayre, Pa. the daughter of Brian and Melissa Larrabee Mullen.

She attended Athens Area High School graduating in 2004.

Stephanie loved to be outside hiking and playing softball. She enjoyed getting tattoos. She loved spending time with her family and friends. To be in her presence was to feel love and kindness. She was a small woman who loved big and made you smile just by walking in the room.

Steph’s big heart led her in many directions. It led her to defend people who could not defend themselves, to comfort those in pain, to love those who are hard to love and to try to fix everyone’s problems. Her spirit will live on through all she touched.

She is predeceased by her grandfathers’, Harmon Larrabee, Jr. and Harold Mullen; her great-grandparents, Harmon and Hannah Larrabee and Louie and Marcella Packard.Stephanie is survived by her parents, Brian and Missy Mullen; her sister, Jennifer Mullen; her grandmothers’, Sue Larrabee and Shirley Mullen; her aunts and uncles, Crissy and Wendell Galasso, Harmon and Cathy Larrabee, Gary and Ricki Mullen, Karen Forbes, Laura and Bill Sargaent, Jimmy and Tammy Mullen; several cousins and many friends.

Steph was surrounded by many special people, some of which she shared a special bond, her boyfriend, Jessie Clark; her best friend, Vito Gronazio; and her special children (cousins), Lauren “T” Galasso, “David Joe” Galasso, Lilly “Tiny” Galasso and Harmon “Midge” Larrabee. They will remember her for her big kid attitude, her love of them and everything they do.

Friends and family may call on Wednesday, Sept. 24, 2008 from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. at the Jay E. Lowery Funeral Home, Inc., 225 South Main Street, Athens, Pa. Funeral services will be held Thursday, Sept. 25, 2008 at 11 a.m. with Tammy Salsman officiating.

Job Update # 1474

"The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe. But the stupid man will just lie down on some seaweed and roll around until he's completely draped in it. Then he'll stand up and go, 'Hey, I'm Vine Man.'"
~ Jack Handey
(I love Jack Handey quotes)


"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I feel STUPID today... and I know it's only my first REAL day, but YOWZA! I'm almost to the point where I truly believe playing the part of James from Thomas the Train, being the Bulldozer while playing Match Box Cars, and fixing toast with butter AND Pnut butter are my true talents.

Basic computer skills left me in a fog today. I'm so lucky that the girl training me was helpful and understanding. She smiled a lot... and I'm not sure if it was a true "you're doing okay smile" or a "WOW, this girl has NO talent" smile. I'm sure it's the first... because she seems really sweet.

That... and she's pregnant with her first child. So we all know that it's a genuine sweet smile... you really don't learn those "fake" smiles until after you've had children and you are gritting your teeth, smiling, and talking through your teeth all at the same time.

So... I made it through... 9-11:30 today! HA! Does that even constitute as working??



"A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
~ Bill Cosby

*Update on previous mentioned Name Badge*

I think because of HIPAA laws... I am not allowed to show a picture of my badge. I will ask first and then if it's okay... I will post it. It was probably mentioned in one of the Orientation Videos we watched... but if it was, I didn't pay attention at that point. *ugh* I'm such a slacker.

ANYWAYS.... what they don't mention is when they print off your picture to place within the badge... they ZOOM your face right in so you look like this huge version of yourself. The picture is cropped literally right up to my head. It's frightening.

I did however think it looked okay... well kind of, minus the frizzed out hair. Then Mac took it and studied it for a little bit and said... "Mommy, your smile is too big and you have too many teeth!"

Um, thanks Mac... thank you for your vote of confidence. Jeez... I can't even impress my son... who told me once that he loves me more than his "LOVEY"!

Workin' 9 to 5... what a way to make a livin'....

Is it me, or am I quoting Country Music singers lately. I won't even quote the lyrics to the song.

So....

After 10 years of Stay at home Mom'ness... I returned to the work force. And the title of my blog should really be... working 9 to noon... then maybe 2 to 3....

It's totally part time and totally what I was looking for. I can go in whenever I want to. Basically, choose my own hours. I must clock in (is that the right term?) 20 hours a week! So I can work around Mac's preschool time, etc...

I even got a RAISE before I started! How sweet is that? Guess, I still got it in me... or it might be due to the years I worked there before.

My duties will be to make copies, scan and file documents, mailing, spreadsheets, etc. And then, every other weekend I'll be working the SWITCHBOARD! I've always wanted to work a switchboard... although in my head a switchboard operator looks more like that cat on Webkinz when you go to get a job. OR... for the life of me I can't remember what Children's Book I remember this from... but there was a duck or a chicken or something that ran a switchboard.

Sadly... I won't have one of those cool headsets, nor will I get to plug and unplug connections. I'm imagining this:

Ah well... I do get to wear a badge... with my picture on it. TOO BAD THEY DIDN'T WARN ME ABOUT "PICTURE DAY"... because I didn't straighten my hair and I look like a Humidity Fur Monster. Ugh. I wonder if I secretly lose it, if I can get a redo. I mean she did ask me "Is it Okay?" and I did say "Yes"... but what was I going to do say "Um, no... I'd like an hour to do my hair and then can we redo it." Ugh... double Ugh.

So there it is... I'm a workin' girl!

ALERT!! ALERT!! ALERT!!

I am happy to report that we have:

1 Monarch Butterfly Chrysalis
and
1 Luna Moth Cocoon

We are SOOO excited! I tried to take pictures of both. But the Luna Moth wraps himself (or herself... I have found that most articles refer to Luna Moths as Males....???) up in a leaf. Our Luna Caterpillar did, so I am unable to take a picture. The Monarch Chrysalis is hanging from the screen of the Habitat and I'm afraid I'd disturb it if I tried to take a picture.

You can see our pictures HERE (click here)

This article states that it will be 3 weeks or more before we see Mr. Luna Moth! WOW! I didn't know this Butterfly Habitat was going to be such a huge part of our decor!!


Here is a great article about the Monarch.

"Sometimes this old farm feels like a long lost friend..."

Ah... John Denver... He sure had the lyrics didn't he?

The title comes from his song "Back Home Again" and after an afternoon of sitting with my Neena... those words seem to sum up what I'm feeling.

Hey, it's good to be back home again

Sometimes this old farm feels like a long lost friend

~ John Denver "Back Home Again"

A great weekend...

I thought I'd just post some pictures... of where we are now... of the "country"... of "home". I'm sentimental and close to tears... so this is my way of saying what I want... but cheating and using pictures instead!

There are days that I would love to yell across the yard to a neighbor... drive up the road for Starbucks... walk through the mall... talk to our mail lady, etc... but as I sit here typing... I can hear Mac out on the front porch playing with his Tractors. I know this is where we are supposed to be. I know that my children are supposed to experience this. No boundaries, no fences separating neighbors (though there are some separating the cows! Moo!), it's... freedom! The leaves are starting to change. Autumn will soon be here. I think we will have the best view from here. You can't find this in the "city!"

The view to our left... (corn fields, even!)

View to the Right....

Another view...

How Mac enjoys his time...

Look what I can do now! No... Home Owners Assoc. telling me what I can and cannot do! hehe! Okay, so I probably wouldn't have done it before... but I've fallen in love with line dried clothes!

To the mountains, I can rest there

To the rivers, I will be strong

To the forest, I'll find peace there

To the wild country, where I belong

To the wild country, where I belong
~ John Denver "To The Wild Country"

I*am*the*crazy*cat*lady

The one that says... "WAYWARD KITTIES.. come here!"

Yep... it's invisible... can't see it... but it must be there.

I swear it.

I can't explain how rural the area is where my house is, compared to where I lived in North East (13 miles from Erie, Pa) The "town" is really close... but I'm off on the mountain... (er... hill...) LOL. We've been watching these kittens and mama kitty at a near by house.... well we WERE watching them. In fact I stopped to tell the lady I wasn't stalking her... just the kids loved to watch the kittens play.

Next night... sitting on my porch. Mama, and 3 babies. They are WILD... but the mother wants to be friends. She's too timid tho.

Then... the next night... another cat. See a theme?

The next night... a long haired scruffy guy showed up... Kitty, that is.

I swore I wouldn't feed them. But then they looked at me.

So ... now, I think they love me. Though, they won't come anywhere near me...

BUT... *sigh* I notice that the one little kitten had a terrible scratch on his/her side... the next day it looked a bit worse. And the past two days that kitten hasn't been coming around. I'm afraid the coyotes got him... if it got infected and he/she got weak... all it is is prey to the coyotes. OR... could be the MOUNTAIN LION that everyone is spotting... it has been spotted by several people.. Ask most people around here and they'll tell you that there aren't any Mountain Lions in "our neck of the woods."... but I believe that there could be. And one person who told my father about one... would NOT lie about something like this.

Next thing you know... that thing will show up on my door. Meow'ing and wanting food. UGH!

Ugh... I*am*the*crazy*cat*lady! and... I know that the mother cat is pg again. She was looking pretty scruffy when she showed up. Now, she looks pretty scruffy and like she swallowed a small watermelon. I'd say the kittens that she has are around 6 weeks or so. And another litter on the way! YIKES!

Okay... enough meow meow rambling.... Just tell me... did they design this "action figure" after me?

The*Butterfly*Project

I only ask to be free. The butterflies are free.
~Charles Dickens


There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly.
~Richard Buckminster Fuller


When I was in 4th or 5th grade my teacher Mrs. Dewitt did a Butterfly Project with us. She had built a big cage/pen like structure that was made of screen/net and it hung from the ceiling of our classroom (I'm going to have to invite my 2 favorite classmates to my blog so that they can help me remember this). Inside of this she put in stalks of Milkweed.


As a child, I remember watching in wonder as the caterpillars turned into butterflies right before my eyes.


My memory of this is shaky... but I remember going outside to release all the butterflies and thinking it was one of the best things I had ever watched.


For Madi's 3rd birthday one of my best friends from college (Laina) sent her a Butterfly Kit. It was cute. You sent away for the caterpillars and they arrived in a little container. Unfortunately, we had our beach trip the week that they hatched from the cocoons. Aunt Judy was "cocoon" sitting for us and she released them for us. So Madi never got to see them.


I'm one of those people that "live through their children"... but I think I do it in a good way. Not like the... "YOU WILL BE A TAP DANCER BECAUSE I NEVER GOT TO TAKE LESSONS" way... but the sweet way... like "I had this memory from my childhood and I want you to have it, too" way. Make sense?


So after many days of researching online and planning... Mac, my father and I walked through his CREP (if you don't know about CREP... it's a great program!) fields and started looking on the bottom of Milkweed leaves for eggs or already hatched caterpillars. Um, not so easy. They are teeny tiny teeny teeny things when they first hatch. Finally, I just grabbed a bunch of leaves and hoped for the best.


We built a proper habitat for them using a glass Gallon Jar with some sticks to climb to the top. The top has screen instead of a lid... where hopefully they will make their cocoons.


The following day... my mom called to say that her kitten had a large green caterpillar in his mouth... and wondered if it was something I wanted?


So... we brought him into our habitat. I also took another walk through the CREP fields and found what I now know is an actual Monarch Caterpillar... and we also found that we have too baby caterpillars that hatched in our mess of leaves that I plucked.


So... living in our habitat are...

1 Monarch Caterpillar

1 Big green Caterpillar which I just found out is a LUNA MOTH! I'm so EXCITED! They are gorgeous!

and

2 baby Monarch Caterpillars


In reading up on the Luna Moth... I've learned that he doesn't feed off of Milkweed leaves. He eats leaves of Hickory, Walnut and Birch trees. He also doesn't make his cocoon to hang from the top... he rolls himself in a leaf and makes the cocoon there.


So... our project goes on.

So far I can report...

* Monarch Caterpillars eat Milkweed plants in record amounts of time.

*Luna Caterpillars appear to be dead most of the time... but they aren't.

*Mac's cat Mickey Mouse Club House (don't ask) can take the screen off the top of the jar and WILL try to eat the Caterpillar

*I'm so excited to watch this process!!!


The pictures here are some recent photos of our process... I tried to get pics of the baby caterpillars... but I just couldn't do it. They are SOO tiny and green that they match the leaves.


The yellow, black and white one is the Monarch. And the big green BLOB is Mr. Luna.

"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly, "one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."

~Hans Christian Anderson

Update....

Phew! I went to the pharmacy (why does that sound so "elderly" to me???... "to the pharmacy") and the nice pharmacist let me know that giving Mac the expired steroid was better than giving him nothing at all!

Double Phew! I had a message (thank you Facebook) from a nice Mommy friend who pointed me in the direction of a great Family Doctor! YAY! (in fact the pharmacist recommended the same person...)

Goodnight all! Pleasant dreams! May those of you with little ones... get a full nights sleep! I'm hoping for a non'wheezing night.

Tomorrow... I hope to give an update on the "Butterfly Project" that the kids and I have going!

*YAWN*

Life may not be the party we hoped for … but while we are here we might as well dance!
~Unknown

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.
~Stacia Tauscher

What a night. The minute I put Mac to bed the wheezing started. *panic* This is the first attack since we moved back home. They usually only come in the winter months, but it seems everyone is fighting a late summer cold. The slightest cold can trigger the Evil Wheezing Beast in Mac. Luckily, I remembered where the Nebulizer was. When we packed up the house before the move, I made sure we put it in a box that we would be able to locate. "Good Job, Jodi!"

BUT... the steroids had expired. (Dec 2007) At that point... the inner battle within myself started. Do I NOT give him a treatment and risk him not being able to breathe in the night, or do I risk the 9 month expiration on the meds?

I gave him a treatment, and it didn't do anything for him.

I have to make some calls today to find a family doctor.

So in my tired state... and 5 min's before the bus... Madi remembers it's September 11th and that they were encouraged to wear "Red White and Blue" today. She had on denim capri's, a white dress shirt and a cream sweater over top. So... after a brief argument of a few possible shirt choices she could make (arguing with Madi over clothing choices is ALWAYS a last resort) ... she decided to leave what she had on. Then... "super mom" stepped in and I let her wear my favorite set of Red Bead necklace and bracelet. Ugh... I'm on pins and needles regretting it. I know it was for a good cause... but I some how see them not coming back in the same shape I sent them in.

Most people would say "it's just a necklace and bracelet"... but if you had shopped for them with me (I think Becky did)... you would know that finding the PERFECT color red is a hard task.

And let's face it... I don't have the pleasure of great shopping here, like I did in Erie. There is part of me that is tempted to go get them. (j/k'ing...) "Hi, I'm Madison Farr's Mom and I'm hear to rip my necklace and bracelet off of her. Thanks."

So Mac and I are having a SAH day. Comfy clothes. Lots of snacks. Maybe even a nap! (shhh. don't tell Mac).

I will watch for a glimmer of red around Mad's neck when she gets off the bus.... I mean, come on... you knew I would.

On this day when the nation continues to mourn... take the time to hug the people that you love, take the extra second to tell them that you are so glad to have them in your life. Celebrate your life... we were all touched by Sept 11th in some way... and while we can't change what happened, we can appreciate what it taught us. Appreciate what we have... and hold it close.

To my family and friends... thank you for all that you bring into my life.


At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.
~Albert Schweitzer

In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved.
~Franklin D. Roosevelt

*sigh*... Funky... Funky...

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.
~ Gilda Radner


Everything in the universe goes by indirection. There are no straight lines.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson


My head is spinning in a thousand different directions today. I'm not sure if that is the cause of this headache or if I'm coming down with a cold...


Mac had school today which ... I know have to tear him away from. Then we stopped at my parent's. He gave his Grand-dad those big ol' puppy dog eyes and talked him right into taking us to McDonald's for lunch.


While I know that it's not the BEST food for us... I can tell you that there is something therapeutic about a Big Mac for me (minus the onions, please)

I love my job... Stay At Home Mom... i.e. chef, nurse, teacher, librarian, therapist, taxi driver, referee, etc... I've been offered several part time positions. All of them are things I'd really enjoy.

Everyone has advice... I can't believe I'm only NOW learning this fact.

But the struggle is within myself, within my heart... If I could find something that fit into the hours that Mac is in school, the decision wouldn't be that hard. Unfortunately there are not that many places that are looking for someone between the hours of 9-11:45 a.m.


So ... I think this headache will remain until I decide what I'm going to do....

Now... for some chocolate and a Coke (thinking food!)


Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities of progress.
~ Thomas A. Edison

90 candles on a cake....

It is only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it were the only one we had.

~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross



May you live all the days of your life.

~ Jonathan Swift





So... I've had a hard time starting this post. I started it on Saturday (when it would have had a lot more significance) but I just knew that I wouldn't get through it without tears.



On Saturday my Neena (grandmother) turned 90 years old!! It's just so unreal to me!



She didn't want a party... so we had an "un" party... and a card shower. To say she received a lot of cards is an understatement. She was flooded with them.



My Neena is a HUGE inspiration to me... to all of us. She is someone that I look up to and in my wildest dreams... could hope to be like.



When we were little... going to Papa and Neena's was such a treat. We were lucky to live close and we could go almost as often as we liked. There weren't many rules there... we swam in the pond, went fishing, ate Saltines with butter (lots of butter), and barely ever went inside.





When I was little, Papa was one of my best friends... and I'd admit that I found him to be more fun and interesting than my Neena. I have vivid memories of Neena when I was little... but not many. Like, I remember her coming into the pond to swim with us... and she'd walk in so gently, not making any waves... and then do the most graceful breast stroke out and back and she'd wrap in the towel and head back to the house. She always had cheese and crackers for snacks. She hated the kittens and cats we'd drag to the house, but let us do it anyway (as long as they didn't come inside!) She always had her hair done perfect. And she ALWAYS had little mini Avon lipstick samples. (I loved sneaking into the bathroom to sample them... maybe that's where my addiction stems from???)



When my Papa died... we lost a huge part of our hearts. I say we... because we all cherished him. He was the pillar of our family. (at least I considered him to be). We went to him for advice, with good news, with bad news... and for hugs.



After Papa died... Neena went on. Her faith is so strong... that it helped her through... she carried on. We all are amazed at how she continued to live alone. I know that personally one of the saddest memories I have from after his death was seeing Neena eat her meals alone. But she didn't mind, she said, Papa would always be with her. She had/has such a peace about her that you can't help but admire her.



So Saturday she turned 90. She continues to live alone. She has a caretaker that comes in the mornings to help fix meals, laundry, etc. I hate calling her a caretaker, as she is more like a part of our family now. My parents check on Neena every night. Most of the time she can be found sitting in her chair watching out the window.



Her health is fading... and that's where my tears come from. Just as I couldn't imagine my life after Papa's death... I can't imagine it without my Neena. In the past few years I have appreciated her more than ever. I'm trying to sneak all the time I can with her now. She always assures me that she'll "Be right here"... I'm so lucky that Madi and Mac are old enough to appreciate what a wonderful woman she is. She calls Mac "shorty" and he always takes his hat off and kisses her before he leaves. I know that his heart loves her like mine does. It's a peaceful love... so hard to describe.



So we honored Neena with an un'party... that she requested a Turkey be made for. (thanks Aunt DeeDee... it was yummy). We had cake. We had laughter. I secretly hope that Papa new we were celebrating...





I have all these things I want to post about... country life, cows in my yard, life, etc... but I needed to "get this all out"... and it felt good. Now, I'm going to go grab some tissues, some coffee, and the keys! Mac's day of preschool is almost done and I'm off to my mom's to make and can "sauce"... something we've never done before!



Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of 'you' to the world.

~Anonymous

Heaven in the form of a snack....

Thank you... Thank you... THANK YOU... To Kellogg's.

You know when you get those forms to fill out and it asks you for your "Hobbies"

My number one HOBBY would be snacking. I'm not kidding....

SO... when I came across these little babies... I instantly fell in love. And like with some snacks, how I have to hide the wrappers in the bottom of the garbage (because, you know, that if you hide them in the bottom and you can't see them... then you didn't really eat them, right?)... anyways, I don't have to hide these!

90 CALORIES! That's it! 90. That's like a taking just a bite of a Little Debbie's treat...

I prefer Raspberry... but they come in Orange, too. I'm not a big fan of Orange with my chocolate. *shivering at the thought*

So, thank you, Kellogg's Special K Bliss Bar... you've made my snacking enjoyable!

"Spreading their Wings...."

"To make a wish come true,whisper it to a Butterfly.Upon these wings it will be taken to heaven and granted, for they are the messengers of the Great Spirit."
~Native American Legend


Everyone is like a butterfly, they start out ugly and awkward and then morph into beautiful graceful butterflies that everyone loves.
~Drew Barrymore


I guess it's only appropriate that after a week of watching my babies turn into these big brave kids... I post about our newest experiment.


But first... a report on Mac's first day. In his words... he LOVED it. We went to my parent's after I picked him up so that he could get his 4'wheeler ride that my dad had promised him. We questioned Mac about what he learned on his first day. He explained that they learned the "rules" of school.... and they are as follows.


1.) no hitting
2.) no kicking
3.) no scratching
and
4.) DON'T BREAK THE RULES


I'm guessing that they have had some issues with rule "break'age" in the past! Other than that... he said he said Hi to a boy at the play-doh table but he didn't talk or say hi back. He was very upset that he had taken the first step into making a friend and was totally ignored. Poor kid... he said he played tractors with the other boys and that was "a'yotta" fun.


Madi's biggest complaint is that she and her locker mate cannot shut their locker when both of their bags have gym clothing in it. She seems to really be enjoying the Middle School and the new friends she is making. Their lunch is at 10:45 which I think is insane... she literally could eat the entire kitchen by the time she gets home. I've convinced her to sneak snacks in her bag... I'm not a fan of "sneaking"... but I think a 10:45 lunch time... requires the sneaking of snacks.


Now... our newest experiment. Butterflies.


Yesterday after preschool, Mac and I went into one of my dad's CREP fields to find Milkweed plants. Monarch Butterflies lay their eggs on the underside of the Milkweed leaves. They are teeny tiny little pin drop size eggs. I believe we successfully found a few. They are currently in a gallon size glass jar with a piece of screen over the top.


From what I read... when the caterpillars hatch they are so small you can barely see them.... and then they grow into Milkweed leaf eating monsters.... and then they'll climb to the screen to begin the chrysalis stage. Then after about 2 weeks... the butterfly hatches!


I didn't really think of the significance of this project and how it relates to everything I'm experiencing with the children right now... until I sat down to type this... I guess as excited as I am about the Butterfly Project... I should be just as excited to watch my children grow to be the children who no longer need me to walk them to the bus... to the children who no longer cry when I leave them with a perfect stranger (aka preschool teacher) BUT!! If either of them crawl up to the ceiling and start making cocoon... I'm putting their cribs back up and insisting that they stay my babies forever.


Spread your wings today... or embrace the small changes in your children... if I have to... then so do YOU!



If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.
~ Maya Angelou


Change in all things is sweet.
~Aristotle (384-322 BC) - Greek philosopher

"I'll be right here..."

"There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it."
~Chinese Proverbs


"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new."
~Rajneesh


I just returned from dropping Mac off at Preschool. He is old enough to attend Kindergarten, but we all collectively thought that he wasn't quite ready. He's a young 5... and maybe I'm not ready to let him go yet. I overheard Madi tell someone the other day, "Mom just doesn't want to be without him." Thanks, Mad.



So he didn't cry... I did. Bawled. A "mom" that I know was dropping off her son as I was approaching my car and she asked me how he did... and I looked up at her with big ol' crocodile tears in my eyes and sobbed! Then, I admitted that he did far better than I did.



So here I am, coffee-blog-kitty at my feet... and lonely.


Which leads me to my title... "I'll be right here..."


All the way to school I explained to Mac that when school is over... that I'd be right there waiting for him. I explained this to him in great detail last night... this morning... in the car... at breakfast, etc... was it him I was trying to convince? Or me?


My Grandmother "Neena" will be 90 on Saturday. She has lived alone since my Papa passed away many years ago. She is an amazing woman whom I admire and love so much. Whenever we visit... or go down with my parents to check on her before she goes to bed... we tell her that we love her and we'll see her tomorrow... or see you soon and in the most peaceful voice she ALWAYS answers... "I'll be right here...."


It's such a comfort to me... knowing that she'll be there. And until this morning I never really thought about those words...


There is comfort in them to almost anyone. The fact of knowing that when you return from wherever you may be going... whether it be Preschool, home for the night, a long trip, college, etc... knowing that the person you love, respect and look up to will "BE RIGHT HERE" when you return.... fills your heart with enough peace to let you walk out that door.


So maybe... it was me who needed to hear Mac say "I'll be right here...." maybe I'm the one full of fear today. I watched Madi go on the bus to Middle School yesterday... without me holding her hand... and I left Mac with his teacher today. Both of them strong and fearless.... me... in the fetal position bawling my eyes out.


So friends... family... "I'll be right here... " always.... and to those who REALLY know me... you can't get rid of me THAT easy!

From the movie ET:

I'll... be... right... here.
~ E.T.

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

~Carol Sobieski and Thomas Meehan, Annie

Mac'ism...

I've always taken 'The Wizard of Oz' very seriously, you know. I believe in the idea of the rainbow. And I've spent my entire life trying to get over it.

~Judy Garland

I'm at my parent's house posting this (I knew the only way to remember this was to post it) ... loading more things in my car to take to our new house... and Mac is "exploring" outside. Describing the beauty here at my parent's is impossible... open spaces, free to roam... Mac loves it.

He just found a white fuzzy pat'apillar that looks similar to this picture...

Mac just watched it for a LONG time... and finally he says "I bet that pat'apillar wishes he were a rainbow."

I asked him why and he said... "cuz he's just plain white and rainbows are pretty."

Ahh... the beauty of childhood.

And this is how my Mac is... he loves flowers, butterflies, kittens, etc... he takes the time to study things and often acts as if he understands their feelings, etc.

Today we passed a hay field... the farmer had recently baled the hay in round bails... and there were a bunch of big huge round bales and then one little tiny one beside a large one....

Mac said: "That's nice, look Mommy, that little bale of hay gets to sit by his Mommy!"

That simple thought would have never crossed my mind... but his heart is so big in that little 5 year old body.... he melts my heart.

I'll leave this post... with a snippet of l yrics from the "Rainbow Connection"... a family favorite... (Kermit is our favorite pick to sing it... LOL)

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered

When wished on the morning star?

Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it,

And look what it's done so far.

What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing

And what do we think we might see?

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,

The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Everyone deserves a "do over"!

(I must first state that I'm not sure who wrote these next quotes... I found them on a "motivational website"... and at the rate I'm going today... I need them!)

Getting knocked down is never our choice; staying down is.

You are bigger than any mistake you'll ever make.

Bounce back whenever you get bounced around.

Who am I to argue with ANY of that? Believe me today... I won't. I'm nestled between Uhaul boxes and twisted up packing tape... listening to Mac play cars. Madi left for Middle School today in a big yellow bus... after telling me that she didn't "need" me to walk her up to wait for it. Has this really happened? Not only I am the mother of a "middle school student", but I'm also "not needed" anymore.


Now... as for Do Overs... (I kindof got lost in my Madi Moment)

I will start blogging again... I will. I promise. But first... I need to untangle myself from the gobs of packing tape that surround me... and get busy so that I can find my cell phone charger in the mess of this mess!

This was the last line of the "motivational" page I found... and my words of wisdom for the day...

The Bottom Line: When you do things over, make sure you do them better than you've ever done them before.